Selected!! Wow that’s nice. Celebrations are totally left to you. But I suggest, if you want to party and have fun, do it on the same night as after couple of days you lose the josh of your success. After you get selected I swear, you won’t get sleep in next couple of nights. So ultimately everything has to be fought and earned. Believe in yourself, not in luck. Luck never made a mad man wise.
7.2 NOT SELECTED
Earlier I used to laugh the phrase “failures are stepping stones”, but now I think that failures are building blocks of your personality that make you stronger every time you fail.
So you have failed irrespective of your efforts and endeavours; no problem. You can say to yourself ‘this was not my company, there are hundred more good companies and I will get into a better one’. I know how bitter the disappointment is, but life does not stop. The show must go on and on. This day you have not lost anything but gained something. You have gained experience, which makes you handle pressure in a better manner next time. You have got to interact with few people and got to know your shortcomings, on which you can always work and improve yourself. Yeah, I know how difficult it is to take these things positively. When I had failed in my first four interviews, I was so much disappointed that when one of my friends asked “Hey still you have not been selected? This time I wish you will be selected”. I had replied sarcastically “I am ready to face hundred interviews”. That day I came and watched the film ‘Kabhi Han and Kabhi Na’ which changed my way of thinking. In the film the character Suneel is a normal guy with ambitions and the desire to get his girl. To succeed or to get what he wants he tries in every way, he even lies here and there but does not succeed. But he does not feel guilty or disappointed at all. He keeps telling his parents that one day he will become a successful person. He tries again, but fails. He is restless; he looks more fresh and optimistic every time he tries. Ultimately he loses his love for whom he had yearned several years. But even then he smiles and hopes he will succeed some day. Kundan Shah has directed the movie very much realistically.
This movie inspired me so much so that when I failed afterwards I never felt the disappointment. Again next time with a smile on the face and hope in my eyes I went for the interview. So I strongly recommend you to watch KHKN which is the story of optimism.
You can look back what were the areas in which you didn’t perform well. Sit and work on those areas. And again with new hope and a fresh look apply for the next company. You may fail hundred times, but one day will surely be yours and that day you will feel like you have conquered the world. Feeling dejected makes you miss your moments. Good moments don’t come often in our life; one should live every moment that comes his way. Say yesterday, you had failed and today you have your brother’s wedding. If you are dejected, nervous and don’t enjoy the occasion and after couple of days if you get a better job, you will repent throughout your life that you could have enjoyed your brother’s wedding.
‘When a door is closed for us, we tend to look at the closed door for so long that we never observe the other opened doors’. When I had failed in Infosys I was so disappointed for weeks that I never realized when the companies, TCS, CTS, L&T came and went away. So please don’t get carried away with your failures. One more thing, always stay focussed on one particular thing. Say you have five call letters, please never ever think that you have so many calls and you can get into one or the other. Otherwise you will land up nowhere. Hence aim only the interview, you have right ahead and just do it.
There is nothing called success because success is purely virtual and has no boundaries. So always commit to CANI (Constant And Never-ending Improvement), then what ever they call success, money, fame will all be yours.
Company HR managers are psychologists. They can gauge the personality of the candidates by evaluating the answers given by them. So even by preparing perfect answers and bluffing perfectly you can’t prove yourself to be a person with solid attitude. Short term preparation doesn’t help this out. So if you start now you will find the difference after few years.
So basically what should you do to get the job? You should impress the interviewers. You can do it by giving brilliant technical answers, knowing, explaining and appreciating company’s performance or business plans (for this you should be knowing what’s happening in the industry), telling your achievements, delivering emotional dialogues or portraying your personality which improves them.
Changing our personality fully is difficult as few aspects are innate in us, which are unchangeable, but we can develop good attitude by commitment and practice. What’s actually attitude? It is the conception and the way with which we look at the things around us, people around us and behave or lead our life accordingly.
I was too much of philosophical when I was in 2nd semester. I did lot of soul searching and set certain values for myself. Most of the time I followed them and it really paid off. The advantages that I got were, I never experienced mental stress and never had personal problems with anybody. The main advantage was that I enjoyed every moment that came my way and at the end of the day I am not complaining; I am happy.
So let me list few tips that can help you. Even if you refer some personality books(I have heard Shiv Khera’s book ‘You can win’ is mind-blowing), you will find these things in some or the other way.
1) Enthusiasm: - A man without enthusiasm is like an animal. Enthusiasm is the urge or curiosity to know, learn, do and experience new things and moments. With this one can lead a thrilling life, without which the life becomes just a routine like a machine. So this is the age, when your blood should rush to make you energetic to do (Positive) what you can.
2) Angry young man: - Never get angry. If some body makes you angry, just laugh at them, laugh at the situation. Think that you are the master of the moment and you just don’t get out of control. In anger, if you shout at others or beat them, ultimately you have to repent about what you have said or done. Moreover by shouting or beating you are not changing anybody. So never lose your temper, let whatever happens: being cool and patient is an asset.
3) Laugh at yourself: - If you can’t laugh at others, somebody will laugh at both them and you. Life is to enjoy, and laughter is its tool. When you laugh at others it’s OK, but the problem comes only when others laugh at you; you feel humiliated and tend to become short tempered. Instead one can learn to laugh at oneself. This avoids ego problems, makes you more social and down to earth person. So there is no use in thinking yourself as a great personality and behaving like a king because people always like modest individuals.
4) Criticise: - Don’t criticise anybody. By doing that again you are not changing him to a good person. Criticism only spoils your personality. You won’t get anything if you comment on others.
Weak minds talk about people,
Average minds talk about events.
Strong minds talk about ideas.
5) Learn: - Have the hunger to learn the things you don’t know. Let it be technical knowledge, general knowledge, etiquettes etc. So learn the things eagerly and sincerely. Everyday you should feel you are improving.
6) Groupism: - Even if you wish, you can’t work alone after you get the job. So those who like loneliness and are reserved; open yourself and make friends. Meet new people and share your views and knowledge. By this you can learn effective communication and develop leadership qualities. For leadership skills you can opt to become the captain in the cricket field and see how best you can manage the players. You can organize competitive events and try to lead in your project groups.
7) Optimism: - Even if you are at dire straits, hope for the best. Even if you are dying hope that you would live. This what makes life sweater. Always believe you can bounce back and win. Never give up.
Whatever you do you should not disturb, hurt or harm others. Being selfish doesn’t make you happy; making others happy makes you happy. Hence, always work for the welfare of the society.
Still there are hundreds of aspects that can make your personality a rock solid. In this regard you can refer the personality development books.
Your personality is measured not by your words but by your thoughts and behavior. So over the time anybody can develop ‘positive attitude’, if they are serious about it. With proper workout even a ‘khajoor’ (stupid) can become a dignified person.